SG1 Meets the Wizard of Oz
by DarkAngelSnapeLover
Summary: The ultimate use of the Wizard of Oz by SG-1. Dedicated to the characters & cast members who have passed away.
1. Chapter 1

STARGATE VISIT'S THE WIZARD OF OZ

_Dedicated to all the dead characters and cast members. We'll miss you all._

CHAPTER ONE

"Hey, Sam? I was looking through the database and we skipped a planet. Was there a MALP sent there?" Daniel asked. She shook her head.

"Not to my knowledge. Do you want to just send another through? We have a week until our next scheduled mission," Sam replied. Daniel nodded and called General O'Neill from the phone beside him. He agreed to set everything up as soon as possible, so SG1 watched a MALP go through the gate within the next thirty minutes.

"What the hell is that?" Jack asked, squinting at the screen.

"It's a house, Sir. Maybe there's an advanced civilization here, or at least life," Sam replied.

"There is something beneath the house, O'Neill," Teal'c said suddenly, pointing to a blurry speck on the screen.

"That could be flowers," Daniel suggested. Sam nodded and looked up to General O'Neill.

"Can we check it out?" she asked.

"Gear up, SG-1," he commanded. The group nodded and was ready before the next hour arrived. Jack saw the group to the new planet. As soon as the gate closed, he passed out. A medical team took him to the infirmary and the gate technicians opened the gate again to see if the same had happened to SG1. When they tried to radio them, no answer returned. The MALP showed only Sam through a window in the house. She looked nothing like herself.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

"**Oh…owww," Sam groaned, rising up. The window beside her was gone and everything looked to be in grey scale. A little dog yapped at her feet. "What the…who are you?"**

"**Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!" the dog replied, leading her towards the door.**

"**Okay, I'll follow you," Sam whispered. She passed a mirror on her way towards the living room of the house. She stopped and gasped. "I'm…I'm…Dorothy!" she exclaimed, touching her long, brown hair and looking at her clothing. "You're Toto!"**

"**Yap! Yap! Yap!" the dog exclaimed, happily running in circles.**

"**Oh my…this can't be happening," she whispered. Toto then began barking at the door. "Okay, we'll go outside."**

**As the door opened, color filled her eyes, colors like she'd never seen before. She began walking around, admiring the sight happily, until suddenly a strange sound filled the air. It sounded like…laughing?**

"**We are not in the gate room anymore, Toto," she whispered, walking towards and open area of bricks. She turned around and heard something whoosh, but saw nothing. Suddenly, a bubble appeared before her, growing larger and more beautiful with every passing moment. A woman came from this bubble. Sam gasped. It was the late Dr. Fraser!**

"**Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" she asked.**

"**Janet!"**

"**No, I am Glenda, the Good Witch of the North. Now, are you a good witch or a bad witch?"**

"**I'm not a witch at all. You know me, Janet," Sam exclaimed.**

"**No, I do not know you. I know what you have done. You killed the Wicked Witch of the East, which makes me think that you are a witch yourself. So, are you a good witch or a bad witch?"**

"**I'm neither. I'm not a witch," she said sternly. She looked to where Glenda was looking. A red pair of slippers covered the feet a pair of black and white stockings. Suddenly, they disappeared. "But I killed her. I'm not a witch though…, Glenda."**

"**Then who are you?" Glenda asked. Sam remembered the movie. She decided to stay in character.**

"**I'm Dorothy, of Kansas," she whispered. Glenda looked confused.**

"**I've never heard of such a land as Kansas. It must be very far away," she said comfortingly. Sam nodded. "Well, if you're not a witch, how did you get here?"**

**Sam wanted to talk about the stargate, but decided it was best not to.**

"**In that house, the one on top of the witch," Sam replied.**

"**In a house? Are you sure you're not a witch?" Glenda asked. Sam suddenly heard the noise again.**

"**What is that sound?" Sam asked.**

"**Oh, it's the munchkins! You're in Munchkinland now! Come out, come out, wherever you are and see the young lady who fell from the stars," Glenda sang. Short little people walked out from the bushes. The women looked like women from her past, from Sharea to Janet, and the boys looked like the men she had worked with at the SGC. **

**Glenda continued singing as Sam looked on helplessly. She couldn't remember the words, only the moment in the movie. Luckily, her mouth moved for her. Toto yapped happily at her feet as everyone sang and danced before him. Suddenly, the foreboding sound began occurring. Sam was about to meet the Wicked Witch of the West.**


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

An explosion occurred, and munchkins hit the ground everywhere. The Wicked Witch began walking around as if she were looking for something.

"I thought you said she was dead," Sam whispered.

"That was her sister. This is the Wicked Witch of the West. She's much worse than the Wicked Witch of the East."

"Who killed my sister, the Wicked Witch of the East? Was it you?" the Wicked Witch demanded of Dorothy.

"No, no…it was an accident," Sam replied. "I didn't mean to kill anybody."

"Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents too."

"Aren't you forgetting the ruby slippers?" Glenda asked.

"The slippers!" the Wicked Witch exclaimed, running to where her sister's legs were exposed. The slippers disappeared as the legs folded under the house. "They're gone! What have you done with my slippers? Give them back to me or I'll…."

"It's too late," Glenda smiled. "There they are and there they will stay," Glenda pointed. Sam gasped. They were now on her feet!

"Give me back my slippers," the Wicked Witch said sternly. "I'm the only one that knows how to use them. They're of no use to you. Give them back to me, give them back!"

"Keep tight inside of them. They're magic must be strong or else she wouldn't want them as bad," Glenda advised.

"You stay out of this, Glenda, or I'll fix you as well!" the Wicked Witch threatened. Glenda laughed.

"Rubbish! You have no power here. Be gone, before someone drops a house on you!" she laughed. The Wicked Witch pouted, walked back onto the bricks and turned to Dorothy.

"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!" she exclaimed, cackling and exploding away.

"Vala," Sam whispered, realizing then who she was.

"It's alright now, you can get up. She's gone now," Glenda smiled. The munchkins stood as Sam realized that he was in a tight fix, the kind that she might not be able to get out of, unless she follows the journey Dorothy took those many years ago. "…the sooner you get out of Oz the better," Glenda smiled. She was speaking while Sam was thinking.

"I'd give anything to get out of Oz all together, but which is the way back to Kansas?" Sam asked, the words flowing from her mouth. The munchkins laughed.

"The only person who might know is The Wizard."

"But how do I get to him?" Dorothy asked.

"Just follow the yellow brick road," Glenda smiled.

Sam then went strictly into the movie's sequence, but she was also taking in the sight of Janet. She missed her greatly still, and hated leaving her, but it appeared that just like in real life, Janet was leaving her. She said her goodbyes then was forced back into the movie's sequence as she began walking the yellow brick road. Once she waved to the munchkins for the last time, she knew that she had no way of getting back, particularly since the ending was still fuzzy and her time was obviously endless.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Sam's feet were aching. She had been walking for at least an hour, just her and Toto, who wasn't much company. After what seemed like ages, she came to a crossroads. She remembered from the movie that she would meet the scarecrow here. Just as she expected, the sequence began. Soon, she was helping to remove…General O'Neill from a post.

"Jack?"

"No, I'm Scarecrow," he said with his kind voice. Sam nodded. She then went back into the movie's sequence, watching him dance happily, laughing and playing with him. He then hit the ground and she screamed instinctively. She ran to him.

"You'd scare the crows back in Kansas!" Dorothy smiled. The movie's sequence started again, and suddenly, the two were skipping up the yellow brick road with Toto just behind. Though she told him the journey was scary, he was still there, just like Jack would do. She was happy to be with an old friend for such a terrible journey.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Jack and Sam had been skipping for ages, but neither were tired. Dorothy was growing hungry, which began the sequence with the talking trees. She thought the way of getting apples was fun once Jack provoked them, then suddenly, she tracked an apple to the feet of…Teal'c.

She banged on him, but the inside echoed. Then suddenly, she heard a noise. He was trying to talk but his mouth had rusted shut. Jack walked up beside them, and the two began helping Teal'c become less stiff and unrusted. The tin man then began his dance of thanks. Jack and Sam watched happily as he finished his routine with a finale only the three of them could be a part of.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked.

"Just a little rusty," he smiled.

The movie's sequence began, and the two invited Teal'c to go to the Emerald City. He accepted after a little coaxing. Then suddenly, cackling only the Wicked Witch of the West could match.

"Vala again," Sam whispered as the Wicked Witch spoke.

"You call that long? Why, you've just begun! Helping the little lady along, my fine gentlemen? Well stay away from her! I'll stuff a mattress with you!" she threatened, pointing to Jack. "And I'll use you as a beehive!" she smirked, pointing at Teal'c. "Here, Scarecrow! You wanna play ball?" she asked, cackling as she threw a ball of fire in front him, disappearing with a plume of smoke. Teal'c helped him put it out.

"I'm not afraid of her!" Scarecrow exclaimed once the danger was gone. "I'll see you get to the Wizard safely now, whether I get a brain or not! Stuff a mattress with me, heh!"

"I'll see you get to the wizard whether I get a heart or not! Beehive, bah! Let her try to make a beehive out of me!" Teal'c said sternly.

"Oh, you're the two best friends anybody's ever had. And it's funny, I feel like I've known you all the time. I couldn't have, could I?" Sam smiled. The movie continued its sequence with its heart-to-hearts. Afterwards, the three began their journey again, skipping and singing happily.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

The path suddenly darkened around them, as if a storm was brewing, but Sam turned and saw that it was a forest, _the _forest, where Dorothy meets the Cowardly Lion. She began figuring out who it could be. She already had Jack and Teal'c, but there was still Daniel, General Hammond, and Cam. She remembered seeing Cam in the faces of some of the munchkins, like the ones from the Lollipop Guild, but that was it. She knew that he had to be somewhere else, but where? General Hammond would probably be the wizard, but would Daniel be a monkey or the lion? She was about to find out.

"Lions and tigers and bears oh my!," the group chanted until suddenly, out came…Daniel? He began terrorizing the group and scaring Teal'c and Jack, until suddenly he went after Toto and Dorothy slapped his nose.

"Shame on you!" Sam exclaimed.

"What'd you do that for? I didn't try to bite him!" Daniel cried.

"No, but you tried to," Sam whispered sternly. "It's bad enough picking on a straw man, but going around picking on little dogs?"

"Well you didn't have to go and hit me, did ya?" Daniel cried. "Is my nose bleeding?"

"No, of course not," Sam replied with sternness yet sympathy. "My goodness, what a fuss you're making. Naturally when you go around picking on things that are weaker than you are! Why, you're nothing by a great big coward!"

"I am a coward! I haven't got any courage at all! I even scare myself. Look at the circles under my eyes! I haven't slept in weeks!" Daniel cried.

"Why haven't you tried counting sheep?" Teal'c asked.

"That doesn't do any good; I'm afraid of them!" Daniel cried.

"Oh that's too bad. Don't you think the wizard can help him too?" Jack asked.

"I don't see why not. We're on out way to see the wizard now to give him a heart and him a brain. I'm sure he can give you some courage."

"Well wouldn't you feel degraded to be in the company of a cowardly lion? I would," Daniel cried.

"Oh, of course not!" Sam reassured.

"Gee, that's awfully nice of you. My life has been simply unbearable."

"Well, it's all right now. The wizard will fix everything," Sam smiled.

"It's been in me so long. I just can't begin to tell you how I feel," he cried. The movie then entered another musical sequence, and Sam watched, entertained. She had a few parts, but it was like her voice took care of itself.

Suddenly, they were on their way again, off towards Emerald City.


	7. Chapter 7 & 8

CHAPTER SEVEN

Suddenly, Emerald City was in view. Only a field of flowers prevented them from going any further. They decided to run, but then, everyone grew sleepy. Sam knew it was the Wicked Witch's magic without actually knowing. Suddenly, she felt Janet's presence again as it started to snow. Everyone began waking up gradually, and they helped re-oil Tin Man. Then, the group ran to Emerald City, where hopefully they would see the Wizard soon.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The group walked up to the door and rang the bell. A little…gate technician named Walter?…popped out of a window.

"Who rang that bell?" he asked.

"We did," the group replied.

"Can't you read?" he asked.

"Read what?"

"The notice."

"What notice?"

"It's on the door, as plain as the nose on my face!" he exclaimed. He then realized it wasn't there. He muttered to himself then went back inside. He then placed a notice on the door.

"Bell out of order. Please knock," the group read together. They then began knocking.

"Well, that's more like it!" the man smiled. "Now, state your business."

"We want to see the wizard!" they said together.

"The wizard? But nobody can see the great Wizard of Oz, even I've never seen him!"

"Then how do you know there is one?" Dorothy asked.

"Because he's……you're wasting my time!"

"Oh, please Sir!" Sam felt herself say. "I have to see the wizard. The Good Witch of the North sent me."

"Prove it!"

"She's wearing the ruby slippers she gave her," Jack smiled.

"Well, bust my buttons! She is! Why, that's a horse of a different color!" he exclaimed. The group was then allowed into the Emerald City, and they were treated like royalty. Sam began to think that if this was one of the greatest planets to have an adventure, then it was the best ever, and it was the planet with the best care of its visitors. She enjoyed every moment, until suddenly, out of nowhere, the Wicked Witch appeared.

"Surrender Dorothy," she wrote in the sky.

Everyone began running towards the wizard for answers, but a messenger…General Hammond?…told everyone to go away. Dorothy asked to see the wizard for the four of them, but he refused. The man screamed at them, then realized it was the witch's Dorothy. He went inside to talk to the Wizard. The group got happy and chatted and watched as Daniel sang of being King of the Forrest. Then, the man returned.

"The wizard says go away!" he exclaimed, then walked back inside. Sam began to cry and spoke of her family. She could see her aunt and uncle in her mind, but…they were her father and Cassandra. She cried and cried, until suddenly, the messenger stuck his head out again. "Please, don't cry anymore! I'll get you into the wizard somehow. Come in! I had aunt like that myself once!" he sobbed.

So, the group entered the wizard's lair.


	8. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

After keeping the group together, Dorothy and the group entered the area of the wizard. The sounds were terrifying, and Dorothy was beginning to see Daniel's point of view on the scariness of the place. Then, the wizard made his demands.

"COME FORWARD!" he bellowed. "I AM OZ! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL! WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?"

"I…I…I am Dorothy, the small and meek. We've come to ask you…"

"SILENCE! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ KNOWS WHY YOU HAVE COME! STEP FORWARD TIN MAN! YOU DARE TO COME TO ME FOR A HEART DO YOU, YOU CLINKING, CLANGING, CLATTERING, COLLECTION OF CALIGINOUS JUNK?"

"Yes Sir, yes your honor. You see, a while back, we were walking down the yellow brick road," Teal'c stammered.

"QUIET! AND YOU, SCARECROW? YOU HAVE THE EFFRONTERY TO ASK FOR A BRAIN? YOU BILLOWING BALE OF BOVINE FODDER?"

"Yes your Honor, I mean your Excellency, I mean your Wizardry," Jack stammered.

"ENOUGH! AND YOU, LION? WELL…?" the Wizard bellowed. Daniel suddenly passed out, landing on his back with a clear 'thud!'

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" Dorothy exclaimed. "Frightening him like that when he came to you for help!"

"SILENCE! YOU WIPPER SNAPPER! THE WIZARD OF OZ HAS EVERY INTENTION OF GRANTING YOUR REQUEST!"

"What'd he say?" Daniel asked, rising up. The group jittered excitedly now rather than in fear, until the Wizard gave them their task.

"YOU ARE TO BRING ME THE BROOMSTICK OF THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!"

"But…if we do that, we'll have to kill her!" Teal'c stammered.

"BRING ME HER BROOMSTICK, AND I'LL GRANT YOUR REQUEST! NOW GO!"

"But…but…what if she kills us first?" Daniel asked.

"I SAID GO!" the Wizard screamed at Daniel, who stammered with fear and ran out the way they came, jumping out the window just to get away. It was at this moment that Sam knew her trek home might be harder than she thought.


	9. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

The forest they were in was absolutely terrifying with strange trees, creatures, and sounds. Sam didn't know what to make of their journey, but she knew her friends would help back her up.

After traveling an unknown distance and passing numerous 'beware' signs, the group encountered a gang of…Cams? Tons of monkeys flew from the sky, assaulting Teal'c, Jack, and Daniel in ways only a Tin Man, Scarecrow, and Cowardly Lion could be assaulted. While they were busy being dismantles and frightened, Sam and Toto were captured by two of the monkeys and taken to the castle of the Wicked Witch of the West, where Sam was locked in a room after Toto went missing. She only had until the hourglass ran out until the Wicked Witch would kill her. What she hoped for was that Toto would find her new friends in time and lead them to the castle before it was too late.

**

"Toto!" Teal'c exclaimed happily. "Where'd he come from?"

"Why, don't you see? He's come to lead us to Dorothy!" Jack smiled. "Come on fellows!" he smiled, and the group followed Toto up a steep cliff towards the witch's castle.

Once at the top of the rocks, they hid and watched. Taller monkeys that resembled…were those Jaffa? They were in formation around the castle, but they were going inside. Three of the guards snuck up behind them and jumped them, but they were no match for the three who wanted desperately to fulfill the wizard's quest. So, they defeated the men and stole their clothes, disguising themselves as the guards to get inside. Then, they took up the rear of the formation and began their search for Dorothy.

They found her after separating from the group. After Teal'c used his ax to bust through the door, the witch found them along with her gang of…Jaffa. The four used their wits, and together they began a chase through the castle, until suddenly, they were trapped within a main chamber underneath a tower.

"Well…ring around the rosy, a pocket full of spears," Vala cackled. "Thought you'd be pretty foxy didn't you. Well, the last to go will see the first three go before her and their mangy little dog too," she smiled. She then dipped the end of her broom in a gas light, causing the end to catch fire. "How 'bout a little fire scarecrow?" she smirked, placing the end on some exposed straw. In a moment of haste, Dorothy grabbed a bucket of water and hurled it onto his arm, but part of it landed on the Wicked Witch. "You cursed brat! Look what you've done. I'm melting, I'm melting. Oh what a world, what a world? Who would've thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? Oh, look out! I'm going!" Vala moaned until she was no more.

"She's dead. You killed her," Bra'tac whispered.

"Oh, I didn't mean to kill her, really I didn't. It's just that he was on fire," Sam whispered meekly.

"Hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch is dead!" Bra'tac chanted. The group repeated his phrase happily.

"The broom…may we have it?" Sam remembered.

"Please, and take it with you," Bra'tac smiled.

"Oh, thank you so much!" Sam exclaimed. The group smiled happily and left for the wizard, broom in hand.


	10. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The group approached the wizard knowing they had succeeded, but Sam was still worried. She couldn't remember the ending, but she knew a twist at the end provided enough to…trap her there. She couldn't remember the whys or hows, but she knew that leaving the Land of Oz would not be easy.

"Can I believe my eyes? Why have you come back?" the wizard demanded.

"Please, Sir, we've done what you told us," Sam smiled, stepping forward. "We've brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West! We melted her!"

"Oh you, liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful!"

"Well, we'd like you to keep your promise, if you please, sir," Sam requested.

"Not so fast, not so fast! I'll have to give the matter a little thought. Go away and come back tomorrow," the wizard demanded.

"Tomorrow? But I wanna go now!" Sam cried.

"You've had plenty of time already!" Teal'c demanded, stepping forward to stand beside Sam. The rest followed.

"Yeah!"

"DO NOT AROUSE THE WRATH OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!" the wizard bellowed. "I SAID COME BACK TOMORROW!"

"If you were really great and powerful, you would keep your promises!" Dorothy shouted. Toto was suddenly at curtain nearby. He pulled it back, revealing the wizard himself.

"DO YOU PRESUME TO CRITICIZE THE GREAT OZ, YOU UNGRATEFUL CREATURES! THINK YOURSELVES LUCKY THAT I'M GIVING YOU AUDIENCE TOMORROW INSTEAD OF TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW!" the wizard bellowed. He was exposed to them, but they had not yet noticed. Suddenly, the wizard noticed. "THE GREAT OZ HAS SPOKEN! PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN! THE GREAT OZ HAS SPOKEN!" the wizard bellowed as the group realized where he was. Dorothy ran over to him as the group watched.

"Who are you?" Dorothy asked.

"I AM THE GREAT…and powerful oz," he said as he switched from the microphone to speaking to her.

"You _are?_" Dorothy asked, confused over the situation. She thought the giant hologram was him. "I don't believe you!"

"No, I'm afraid it's true. There's no other wizard."

"You humbug!" Jack exclaimed from behind Dorothy. The group had run over while she addressed him.

"Yeah!"

"Yes, that's exactly so. I'm a humbug," the wizard whispered.

"Oh, you're a very bad man!" Sam exclaimed sadly.

"Oh, no my dear," the wizard reassured. "I'm a very good man, just…a very bad wizard."

"What about the heart that you promised Tin Man? And the courage you promised Lion?" Jack demanded.

"And Scarecrow's brain!" they said together.

"Why, anybody can have a brain, that's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from there are universities, seats of great learning where men go to become great thinkers. When they come out, they think deep thoughts, and with no more brains than you have, but they have one think you haven't got: a diploma. Therefore, by the virtue vested in me by the _universitatus committeeatum e pluribus Unum, _I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of THD."

"THD?"

"That's Doctor of Thinkology.

"The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side," Jack said quickly. "Oh, joy! Rapture! I've got a brain! How can I ever thank you enough?"

"You can't," the wizard replied. "As for you, my fine friend, you're a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate illusion that simply because you run away from danger, you have no courage. You confusing courage with wisdom. Back where I come from, we have men that are called heroes. Once a year, they take their fortitude out of mothballs and they parade it down the main street of the city. And they have no more courage than you have! But they have one thing you haven't got: a medal! Therefore, for meritorious conduct, extraordinary valor, conspicuous bravery against wicked witches, I award you the Triple Cross. You are now a member of the Legion of Courage," the wizard smiled, pinning the medal to his fur and giving him kisses on his cheeks.

"Shucks folks, I'm speechless," Daniel smiled, prancing away from the group.

"As for you my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You're lucky you don't have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can made unbreakable."

"But I still want one," Teal'c whispered sadly.

"Back where I come from, there are men who do nothing all day but do good deeds. They're called…phila…phila…good-deed-doers, and their hearts are no bigger than yours, but they've got one thing you haven't got: a testimonial. Therefore, in consideration of your kindness, I take pleasure at this time in presenting you with a small token of our esteem and affection. And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others."

"Oh…oh! It ticks!" Teal'c smiled, holding it to his ear. He then held it to the ears of his friends, and they listened happily.

"Read what my medal says: 'courage'," Daniel smiled. "Ain't it the truth? Ain't it the truth?"

"Oh, they're all wonderful!" Sam smiled.

"Hey, what about Dorothy?" Jack asked. The group agreed loudly.

"Well, um…about Dorothy…," the wizard paused, thinking about what to do for her.

"I don't think there's anything in that black bag for me," Dorothy whispered sadly.

"The only way to get Dorothy back to Kansas is for me to take her there myself!" the wizard exclaimed. The group smiled happily and prepared Dorothy for the big day. Sam was thrown into the movie again, but her feelings inside were not happiness. She knew somehow that this wouldn't work out, no matter what words came out of her mouth, and she knew that getting everyone back where they belonged would take a lot of magic, more than the ruby slippers could provide.


	11. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

The crowd cheered for Sam as she held Toto with her friends around her. The wizard had rigged up his hot air balloon and prepared to take them up in it as soon as he finished with his speech. But suddenly, Toto took after a cat in the audience, and Dorothy lost her chance to go as the ropes were released by accident. She began to cry again, knowing that she had lost her chance.

Suddenly, Glenda appeared, or rather Janet. Sam begged for her help, but of course that was why Glenda was there to begin with.

"You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas."

"Then why didn't you tell her?" Jack asked sternly.

"Because she wouldn't have believed me," Glenda smiled. "She had to learn it for herself."

"What have you learned, Dorothy?" Teal'c asked.

"Well…I think that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em, and that it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't go any further than my own backyard, because if it isn't there, then I haven't really lost it to begin with. Is that right?" sam asked, the movie taking over again.

"That's all it is," Glenda smiled.

"I should've thought of it," Jack smiled.

"I should've felt it in my heart," Teal'c smiled.

"No, she had to find it out for herself. Now those magic slippers will take her home in two seconds!" Glenda smiled.

"What about everyone else? You don't belong here, Janet."

"Au, contraire, Sam," she smiled, her real voice taking over. "We're here because…this is where we belong now."

"Not all of you," Sam said sternly.

"You are correct. The magic will work itself out, Samantha. Now, close your eyes and click your heels and say 'there's no place like home'," Janet smiled. Sam did as she was told.

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home click, click, click," Sam whispered. Suddenly, a change came over her. The dream was over.


	12. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

"Sam? Oh, it's good to see you," Daniel smiled. Jack sat on the other side of her bed eating her Jell-O, and Teal'c stood at the foot. Vala and Cam sat at the next bed.

"Oh, I just had the most wonderful dream!" she smiled quietly. "You were there, and Jack you were there, even Teal'c and…Dr. Fraser was there."

"Even us?" Vala asked.

"Even you," sam laughed.

"How is that funny?"

"You were the Wicked Witch," Sam smiled. Vala gasped as Jack stifled a laugh.

"So, you had a dream about _The Wizard of Oz_?" Daniel asked.

"What is that?" Teal'c asked.

"A movie from our planet, and yes, I did. I was Dorothy, and Jack, you were the Scarecrow."

"I find that offensive!" he exclaimed.

"You're smart," she grinned. "Teal'c was the Tin Man."

"Makes sense there," Jack murmured.

"Daniel, you were the Lion," Sam smiled. Jack laughed that time, then looked away. "Vala, you were the Wicked Witch of the West. Janet was Glenda. Cassie and my father were my aunt and uncle, Cam you were Vala's monkeys, and Bra'tac was one of the larger ones near the end."

"There are Jaffa in your movies?" Teal'c asked.

"In the one in my dream," Sam smiled. "Oh, and General Hammond was the Wizard."

"About that," Jack whispered. "We got word from his family. He passed away while you were in a coma."

Sam waited a moment before speaking. "What happened to me?" she asked.

"As soon as we walked through the gate, we were ambushed. When we were jumping into the bushes, you hit your head and got knocked out," Daniel replied.

"How long ago?" Sam asked.

"About six hours, you've been out," Vala replied. Sam nodded and looked to Jack.

"So why are you here?"

"Looking out for my team, introducing the new guy to some old guys, the Jell-O," he smirked. "I'm glad you're okay. They want you to rest, particularly with you hallucinating about _The Wizard of Oz_."

"That was a big word for a scarecrow," Sam smiled. Jack picked up her entire lunch tray and carried it outside. Teal'c and Daniel shook her hand then followed. Vala and Cam stayed behind.

"So, we get the crappy roles, huh?" Cam asked. "Just so you know, I'd refuse to work the movie if that was what the casting director had in mind for me."

"You were apart of the Lollipop Guild," Sam tried. Cam made a strange face the walked out. Vala sat down beside her.

"So what about this Wicked Witch character? Does she annihilate something?" Vala asked.

"I'll tell you later," Sam whispered, yawning. Vala nodded and left the room.

As Sam began a nap, she felt Janet's presence with her, along with her father's, General Hammond's, and Bra'tac's. She knew she'd never be far from home as she dozed off to sleep.

A/N: So, what'd you think? After some frustrating moments, I was able to get this typed within a day. Updating it? Hmm…it's the twenty-sixth today, so…you figure out how long it took me to get internet (of July, by the way).

So, I did add some characters I don't like (Vala and Cam) and I gave them crappy roles. The time line with the SGC is a little off, but…the movie didn't really help any. So, keep that in mind if you want to Flame me. Also, for those who are wondering, yes, I directly copied some lines from _The Wizard of Oz_. It was the worst part about typing this sense the Wizard uses big words that aren't even words, and…I have a VCR so, o clear it up: I got the lines directly from the movie, meaning I had to like watch it while I was writing (which is hard because I forget easy). So, I hope you enjoyed this and I think this is officially the best _Wizard of Oz _screw over in SG-1 history.


End file.
